What do you do when you’re given an opportunity and then have it taken away?

Feeling very down and bothered by what’s going on at work. First off, I’ve been busting my ass off and being available trying to prove I’m ready to help with the new people at work. I’m talked to and offered the ability to help the new people when they come at the phones. I was nominated, and I said yes. I was excited and had a lot to look forward to.

Then two days later..

I’m told that I can no longer do it because hanging around one of my “overly negative” friends at work has made me look bad, and that now people are starting to complain about me. I’d really like to know who.. And not only that, the big boss heard me “vent” about a call. Like no one vents about a call at a call center? Not only that but I’m told someone else that has more tenure in my department and has a better PERSONALITY is going to be with the new people. And that I need to work on my attitude.

Everything I have worked for at this job has blown up in my face, all of the opportunities I was given just to have them taken away is extremely hurtful and discouraging. I’m at a professional low right now. I’ve done nothing but good for this department, I’ve put myself out there, I’ve networked.. I’m also one of the most knowledgeable people there. Someone must really have it out for me. I’m not negative at work, I make jokes but they aren’t offensive and are silly jokes. Am I missing something here?? And then I get coached because I’m not my “usual” self.. Are you serious? I’m looking for another job now. Thanks whoever for ruining my reputation at work and screwing me over.


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Coming off of Seroquel.. withdrawal symptoms

So after 3 years of taking Seroquel and gaining 40 pounds, lots of anxiety, and my doctors trying to tell me that I need to go on disability I came off of it. I’ve tapered off to 50 milligrams with my new psychiatrist’s approval (used to take 600 milligrams) I didn’t have any issues tapering. Now it’s been 4 days since I’ve taken any kind of Seroquel at all and I think I’ve maybe had 5 hours of sleep. It is extremely hard!! I work full-time and my job won’t give me any time to take off to get this stuff out of my system. I’m thinking it’ll take a while to be able to sleep on my own again, they only gave me Seroquel because they thought I was bi-polar. I can understand why, I was pretty emotionally all over the place when I was put on it, I was going through a divorce with an overly verbally abusive person and I felt really down, I was crying all the time. My psychiatrist at the time tried to put me on other things like trials but they just made me feel worse and sick to my stomach so she put me on the Seroquel, which still doesn’t make sense to me because the other stuff wasn’t out of my system yet?

The Seroquel knocked me out for 2 days straight, I became groggy.. I had what they call “brain fog”, it’s where you have a hard time recalling things. It also gave me a really bad stutter. And yes, it totally messed up my vision. They had me on Lithium but I stopped taking that because it gave me liver damage!!! I guess that’s what happens when they give you 1,200 milligrams. So after gaining 45+ pounds and all of the damage it’s done to my body I am finally in a state where I can come off of the medication and focus on repairing my life. I know some people can’t come off of something like Seroquel, but please try to discuss other options with your doctor…Seroquel makes you hungry, and it makes you crave sugar. I actually felt worse taking this medicine then when I did when I was going through my divorce. It halts your metabolism so there’s absolutely no way you can lose the weight effectively when you’re on Seroquel. Now that I’m off of Seroquel the stuttering has completely stopped, and I’m confident that the weight will come off too. The whole sleeping thing will be fine in a few weeks, and if I absolutely can’t function anymore or say if I really am bi-polar then something will happen.

Or maybe nothing will happen, no manic episodes, and it was maybe a misdiagnosis? It’s possible. It’s pretty normal to be pretty emotionally distraught when you are in an emotionally abusive relationship. Regardless, I’m pretty upset that they put me on something that is so dangerous to your body, doctors don’t really care how something makes you feel, and Seroquel makes them a lot of money so why wouldn’t they prescribe it? Anyways, what are your guys’ experiences on it? Have any of you safely withdrawn from Seroquel and if you have what were your withdrawal symptoms?

Posted in bipolar disorder, mental illness, Seroquel | Tagged , , | 9 Comments

Possible new medication.

The verdict is in, my new psychiatrist will be slowly lowering my Seroquel dosage, I will be moved to 400 milligrams instead of 600 for a month to see how I handle it. I am excited about the change because Seroquel has made me gain a fair amount of weight, the goal is to get moved to something safer. I will keep you all updated on how it goes! 

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Bipolar and shopping.

Being bipolar makes it very hard to do rational shopping,  especially if I’ve had a bad day. I used to think it was just a really impulsive habit, but it makes sense it’s linked back to bipolar. Yesterday I put 46 dollars on my credit card when I didn’t need to. It drives me crazy. It’s like I try to rationalize spending money when I shouldn’t be. I need to hide my credit card.

Posted in bipolar disorder, mental illness | 3 Comments

Happy Easter!!

Hey guys! I’m at work right now but I wanted to wish everyone a happy Easter! I’ve been super busy the past few days but I’ll start back up with regular posting later today, see you guys later!

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Being bipolar and dealing with stress.

Wow it has been back to back calls here! I hope you all are having a good day! I thought I would share some insight on what it’s like to take phone calls at a call center while being bipolar. It is not easy, I have to keep reminding myself that when people are upset to not let it get to me, easier said then done right? 

You can easily go manic if someone is upset, I take anxiety meds and those help. Support is very much needed,  if I feel I need to log off to calm I will track my time and let my manager know. I enjoy the job and I like the challenge. I hope all of you have a good day and I will make a update soon! 

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Being bipolar, it’s not the end. 

I know you’ve had it hard. I know you’ve been judged, you’ve been insulted. You feel as though no one understands. I want you to know that I understand. You’re not alone. You have a chance of a life, don’t let others around you bring you down. My psychiatrist told me to go on disability, and I tried that. But when I got myself out of my previous relationship I flourished. It took me so long to not be scared to try.

But please never stop trying. You are special, and being bipolar doesn’t mean shit. We need to come together. We got this,  it’s not easy but we got this.  

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